Compensation
by Kitsuru
Summary: Oneshot Sai meet Kurosaki Ichigo, Substitute Shinigami. Ichigo meet Sai, your worst nightmare. And yes, fate DOES hate you.


Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto or Bleach, you guys would be the first to know.

All hail Sai, the only one who could manage to get on the nerves of any and all main characters (and everybody else as well) in less than thirty seconds and somehow manage _not_ to die a very painful death!

For anyone who's waiting for an update on AY, blame the plot bunny that forced me to write this. She kept attacking me when I was trying to work on the next chapter for AY!

Plot bunny: ...I'm a guy.

HAKU?!

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When he had asked Yamamoto Genryusai, Sou-taichou of the Gotei-13, for a summer job, this hadn't been exactly what he had had in mind. 'This' being a forest that was out in the middle of nowhere. 

Or rather, it would have been more apt to say that it was a million miles _away_ from the middle of nowhere. _That_ was how far it was from _anything,_ including civilization. _Especially_ civilization.

In retrospect, he had had a feeling that today was going to suck; from the moment that he had failed to wake up in time to dodge his fathers' exuberant 'GOOD MORNING, ICHIGO!' piledriver. And then, when he had gone off to the Seireitei for his job interview, he had run into—or rather, away from—everyone who he usually tried very, _very_ hard to avoid.

And to make things even _worse,_ Zaraki had managed to catch up to him! And after he had gotten beaten to a pulp—not without beating the other Shinigami to a similar state, of course—Yachiru had seen fit to mistake him lying on the ground, unconscious, for an opportunity to show the world her artistic ability!

_Darn it, this marker had better not be permanent!_

Not to mention Soi Fon, who had somehow gotten the idea that he had some of Yoruichi's hair, had chased him down after he had gotten released from the Fourth Division. He had no idea why it was the cat-woman who claimed the nickname God of Flash, and he didn't really want to know after seeing the shunpo of someone who _couldn't_ claim the title.

And who could forget Mayuri?

Ichigo wished that he could, or at least to forget what had happened earlier that day. He shuddered at the memory, wishing—not for the first time—that Ishida had just gotten rid of the mad scientist when he had the chance.

"At least there's no way that today can get any worse…"The Substitute Shinigami counseled himself with a sigh.

And Fate, there's your cue!

"Excuse me?" Came an unfamiliar, vaguely polite voice from behind him.

Ichigo turned, to see a dark-haired, pale boy. He sported a broken chain of fate, as well as the fakest smile that the Shinigami had _ever_ seen. And, seeing as he had met Ichimaru Gin, that was definitely saying something.

_Where'd he come from?_ He wondered with a frown._ I didn't sense him approaching…_

"Nani?" The orange-haired teen asked out loud, reaching for his zanpaku-to. He'd probably have to konso this guy, since he was obviously dead. "What do you want?"

The boy ignored his question, his eyes fixating on the oversized butchers knife that was Zangetsu. The false grin grew wider as his gaze returned to the Shinigami, who was starting to get a bad feeling about this…

"Compensating for something?" Sai asked in a genuinely curious tone, proving that Ichigo's instincts were once again all-too right.

It was very, _very, VERY _hard not to cut the deceased ninja into very, _very, VERY_ tiny bits with his sword. It was also very, _very,_ _VERY _hard to keep from beating him to a very, _very,_ _VERY_ quiet pulp. Really, he couldn't do any of the things that he was very, _very, VERY_ eager to do at that moment. So instead, he settled for walking over to the nearest tree and banging his head against it.

Repeatedly.

"I just _had_ to say it…" He berated himself under his breath. "I just _had_ to piss off Fate more than usual." He glared up at the sky. "I hate you, by the way."

The sun shone cheerfully, and a few birds chirped, undeterred by Ichigo's words. If anything, they seemed to perk up even more after he said them. So did the ghost, for that matter.

"Are you crazy?" The shinobi questioned. He didn't bother waiting for the other to reply. "You'd have to be, to be talking to yourself like that. And then there's that drawn-on green mustache… you don't _actually_ think that you're fooling anyone with that, do you?"

Ichigo twitched, before going back to beating his head against the tree. _This is going to be one _long_ summer…_

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Okay, now that that's over with, I'm off to work on AY. If you enjoyed this, please find it in your hearts to review. -does a very bad attempt at puppy dog eyes- Please? 


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